Stuck in a moment

It has been exactly 1 month since my father died. You would think that the pain would ease up, but it doesn't. I miss my dad terribly and I absolutely hate this whole ordeal. When I look around and see all the sadness in the world and I know that I am not the only one that feels like this, it makes me feel worse. I hate to feel like this, but I also feel sorry for everyone else that is struggling in this hard world. I know there is a lot of good in the world, but I definitely feel like I am stuck in a moment.
I used to have the song by U2 "Stuck in a Moment" as the ringtone for my cell phone. I loved it when my phone rang and I would hear.......

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard

I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it


I will always miss my dad and I will always feel the sorrow but I can definitely work on my attitude a bit and get myself together even though I am stuck in a moment.

This is how I feel!

I know I should probably have something better to say but I am not quite there yet. Today my sister Stephanie found out that she will be losing more of her hair than she thought from the radiation. Some how that does not seem very fair, but again LIFE IS CRAP. My mom thinks life sucks sounds better, but I am sticking with crap. I definitely need to start working on my attitude because my father is probably looking down on me right now and shaking his head. Well Dad, Life is crap sometimes!

Farewell to the Best Dad Ever.

My dad past away June 20, 2008 from pancreatic cancer. It is hard to put into words the devastating feelings this has brought to me. Grief is a feeling that brings so much sorrow. I will miss my dad immensely and the important part he has played in my life. He was someone I could always count on no matter the circumstance and never judged.He spent his life serving others and will be remembered for the wonderful man that he was. I love you Dad and I hope you are at peace.

I don't quite understand yet.

These are some of my favorite pictures. Someday soon I will be able to talk about the last week and a half of my life. But for right now, all I can say is that I love my Dad and my sister very much.

Is it a cold or allergies?

As much as I love this child, she has made this a very miserable week(not by her choice). It all started with what we thought were allergies and ended up with both me and Zoe spending the week in bed. I was laying there giving her moral support as she coughed and coughed all night long. Little did I know her "asthma" cough was filled with bad cold germs that took a great hold of me. So here we are the two of us sick as can be, all because we thought she had allergies. Sometimes it is very hard to tell the difference. Now I know that when you have a fever and don't want to get out of bed because your head might fall off, quite possibly it could be more than allergies.

It's the End of the World as We Know It.

My sister Rachel and I like to sing the song by R.E.M "It's the End of the World as We Know It". We especially like to sing it after listening to "political talk". Every time you turn around someone is giving you their views on which candidate is the best. It's not that I don't care, because I actually do, but a lot of times when I am listening to someone I am also thinking about how I am going to get to a baseball game, track meet, volleyball tournament and make dinner in between. I love an election year and this one has proven to be the best( a bit of sarcasm). For those of you who know me well, you will be laughing. For those of you who don't, please don't take me serious. For my sister Rachel.....It's the end of the world as we know it(and I feel fine).

A Few Jeepin' Photos

Moab is a whole lot of fun. It is also a whole new experience for a city girl like me. I actually think I am a natural at this whole thing, as long as I can have a good meal and a nice shower at the end of the day. It is quite surprising!