Did you get your tickets?

No, not to the gun show! But to the circus that will be performing in our very own front yard. Ezra and his friends Jake and Brayden asked for 5 foot unicycles for Christmas. Seriously Santa.......are you going to pay the medical bills??? These kids are nuts and who are their parents??? Zoe on the other hand asked for something a bit more sane. She received a flip camcorder, which is absolutely perfect for her and our family. Zoe is the one that takes all the pictures and now we will have amazing videos. I didn't have to feel guilty this Christmas about all the video I didn't take, because Zoe did it all for me. She is a great girl!
Zoe and Ezra got a tandem cruiser bike from us and they are having a blast on it. You can't miss them because the bike is bright yellow. I call it the yellow submarine! Christmas was spectacular for the kids this year and I hope it was for everyone else. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! It definitely better be a huge improvement from last year!! On to better times for all!!

I've always wanted more children...........

............and now I have a two year old and I would like to give him back. Hank wears me out!!!!! I am constantly chasing him around the neighborhood, yelling his name, and occasionally swearing. The neighbors look at me like I am an out of control mother with an out of control child. Maybe I am too old for children!

Today I am thankful for......

........My sister Rachel for being so quirky. On Thanksgiving she turned up the music and did an awesome dance to Run DMC's Christmas rap. She made everyone laugh as usual!

Today I am thankful for........

....... My DAD! I am extremely thankful for such a great dad. He was someone I could always talk to and count on. I will miss having him here with us for the holidays.

Today I am thankful for.........

......My sister Stephanie, or as I like to call her Sneffie. Today is her birthday! This has been the year from heck for her. She is definitely a very strong person and I love her very much.
Happy Birthday Sneffie.

I am also thankful for my mom and my sisters. It is very nice to have such a great support system when things are rough. It is also very hard to find a picture of all five of us where someone doesn't have their eyes closed . We are definitely not the most photogenic family.

Today I am thankful for......

I love getting in my cozy bed every night and watching an episode of Eli Stone. I am always behind the times when it comes to television, so I am watching the first season.
I am extremely thankful for the incredibly good weather we are having right now. These are the things that make me happy today. Renan is complaining that I didn't mention him........ so again I am thankful for Renan.

I am thankful for...........

Renan: For all the hard work he is doing to finish our remodeling project before the holidays. He is sick, but still he keeps painting and painting. What a man!

Zoe: For keeping her room somewhat clean this week. She is fabulous at everything, but hates to clean her room.

Ezra: For surviving another week without a major injury! When I say major, that doesn't include his tooth going through his front lip or falling and bruising his shoulder. Those are minor things.

The many things I have to be thankful for.......

There are many things to be thankful for this season. I know I have concentrated on all my losses in the past 5 months, but I know there is a lot of good in my life at this time. I want to spend the next week or so concentrating on the positive things. Everyday I hope to add one or two things to my blog that will bring me peace during this season. Feel free to share your own thoughts on my comments page. I believe this is a good way for me to heal and at the same time make my father happy, because I know he hates seeing me sad.

And The Winner Is.................

Obama.

I have friends on both sides, so I have..........no comment. I am hoping for a great future for all with peace,love, and happiness.

October Madness

This is Renan and I when we moved into the neighborhood. We didn't fit in very well, so we had to conform. Actually we had a "Halloween party" so we could dress the way we feel most comfortable in. I think our friends did too.

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The good, the bad, and the ugly of summer 2008

This is how we deal!

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Hank

We have had Hank over the weekend for a "trial run". This has been no trial run! The minute we brought this dog home I knew there was absolutely no way the kids were willing to give this dog up. He is pretty cute and I have to admit I like him quite a bit. I am a little bit worried though when the responsibility is all mine and I know it will be. Renan and the kids assure me that they will help out. Hmmm..........we'll see.

Looking Back!

I spent some time looking back at a bunch of pictures of the kids, it is amazing how time flies! Zoe will be starting 8th grade and Ezra will be in 5th. Here are just a few of my favorites.



Ezra went through a serious rescue hero phase. For Halloween that year he was "Billy Blaze". I spent an incredible amount of time on his costume and I thought it was awesome. The other day Ezra told me that he loved that costume, but was a little disappointed that it didn't shoot out real water. I am glad he waited to tell me that!

Zoe being her usual goofy self. I wonder where she gets that from?
Zoe would love me to braid here hair in little tiny braids. It would take forever, so I would make here wear the braids for at least a few days. This is what she looked like when she took them out. It makes me want to rub her head really hard. Only girls would know the good pain that comes from doing that.
This was Ezra's first black eye. He didn't even think it was cool.

Ezra and Carson

Stuck in a moment

It has been exactly 1 month since my father died. You would think that the pain would ease up, but it doesn't. I miss my dad terribly and I absolutely hate this whole ordeal. When I look around and see all the sadness in the world and I know that I am not the only one that feels like this, it makes me feel worse. I hate to feel like this, but I also feel sorry for everyone else that is struggling in this hard world. I know there is a lot of good in the world, but I definitely feel like I am stuck in a moment.
I used to have the song by U2 "Stuck in a Moment" as the ringtone for my cell phone. I loved it when my phone rang and I would hear.......

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard

I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it


I will always miss my dad and I will always feel the sorrow but I can definitely work on my attitude a bit and get myself together even though I am stuck in a moment.

This is how I feel!

I know I should probably have something better to say but I am not quite there yet. Today my sister Stephanie found out that she will be losing more of her hair than she thought from the radiation. Some how that does not seem very fair, but again LIFE IS CRAP. My mom thinks life sucks sounds better, but I am sticking with crap. I definitely need to start working on my attitude because my father is probably looking down on me right now and shaking his head. Well Dad, Life is crap sometimes!

Farewell to the Best Dad Ever.

My dad past away June 20, 2008 from pancreatic cancer. It is hard to put into words the devastating feelings this has brought to me. Grief is a feeling that brings so much sorrow. I will miss my dad immensely and the important part he has played in my life. He was someone I could always count on no matter the circumstance and never judged.He spent his life serving others and will be remembered for the wonderful man that he was. I love you Dad and I hope you are at peace.

I don't quite understand yet.

These are some of my favorite pictures. Someday soon I will be able to talk about the last week and a half of my life. But for right now, all I can say is that I love my Dad and my sister very much.

Is it a cold or allergies?

As much as I love this child, she has made this a very miserable week(not by her choice). It all started with what we thought were allergies and ended up with both me and Zoe spending the week in bed. I was laying there giving her moral support as she coughed and coughed all night long. Little did I know her "asthma" cough was filled with bad cold germs that took a great hold of me. So here we are the two of us sick as can be, all because we thought she had allergies. Sometimes it is very hard to tell the difference. Now I know that when you have a fever and don't want to get out of bed because your head might fall off, quite possibly it could be more than allergies.

It's the End of the World as We Know It.

My sister Rachel and I like to sing the song by R.E.M "It's the End of the World as We Know It". We especially like to sing it after listening to "political talk". Every time you turn around someone is giving you their views on which candidate is the best. It's not that I don't care, because I actually do, but a lot of times when I am listening to someone I am also thinking about how I am going to get to a baseball game, track meet, volleyball tournament and make dinner in between. I love an election year and this one has proven to be the best( a bit of sarcasm). For those of you who know me well, you will be laughing. For those of you who don't, please don't take me serious. For my sister Rachel.....It's the end of the world as we know it(and I feel fine).

A Few Jeepin' Photos

Moab is a whole lot of fun. It is also a whole new experience for a city girl like me. I actually think I am a natural at this whole thing, as long as I can have a good meal and a nice shower at the end of the day. It is quite surprising!

What's up with the weather!

Does this picture make you scared of me? Well, it should! I am going to show this picture to my kids when I need them to get something done real fast. All I can say is......Don't Mess. Now on with the weather rant, seriously, I have been so excited for Spring and where the H E Double hockey sticks is it? I have been waiting patiently and I am ready to pack up and call it quits.

Last Ski Day of the Season

Ezra and Zoe sluffed school to get the last bit of skiing in. 60 degrees and skiing, not too bad they say!



This actually makes Zoe laugh when she sees her jumps compared to Ezra's, even better when she tries to grind the rail.



Zoe is an excellent skier actually. She doesn't really enjoy all the tricks Ezra makes her try, but she is a good sport. Ezra on the other hand is all about the tricks.



At the end of the day everyone was happy and that's all that counts, right! Say goodbye to a great ski season and hello summer.

In Response to Streets of Terror.

My friends, Sam and Brodi talk about I-80 being the "bobsled horror show." Read their blog, it is very funny. You can link on to it from Renan's website. Here is a small portion of it....

"I just close my eyes while I drive that 5 mile stretch, crying and screaming and praying to just make it through. Rocks pelting the windows, dodging 57 ton Semi trucks, 16 year old boys texting as they drive, and others just swerving all over the road. When you are trying to keep up with the flow of traffic and hitting speeds of 55 miles an hour and you have about 2 inches of clearance on both sides of your lane, it gets your heart pounding."

In response to their blog........ You haven't experienced true horror until you have driven I-80 with Renan at the wheel. 55 is nothing!!!!!! nothing I tell you, when the norm for Renan is 80. I have no idea why our family is still alive. I am constantly trying to put on the imaginary brake on the passengers side, while Renan is rolling his eyes at me. When we finally arrive at our destination, I have to mentally tell all the muscles in my body to relax, then I reach over in my purse and pull out the meds that I wished I had taken before that awful experience. You may think I am exaggerating , but truly I am not. This is not for the wimps of the world, you have to be hard core to drive with Renan.